I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
