He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
