who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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