Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
