next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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