then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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