Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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