i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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