ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
