Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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