No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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