I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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