he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
