wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
