Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
