she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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