I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The feeling are messing with the penis
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
