Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My cat gives me a boner
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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