lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
