That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
