he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
