I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
