they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You took a bar mat shot.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
