I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
