dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it hurts more in the daytime
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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