shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
