Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
