maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
being pregnant is like rehab
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
