Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
