i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
