it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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