im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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