Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
