I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she woke up with a sticky ear
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
