Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize