Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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