ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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