perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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