he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
