I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
