Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
