bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
