i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize