Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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