You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Bring me that man meat
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
