erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
