naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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