you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
