I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
