dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
