At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
