Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
