This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
