good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
