I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
