I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
