***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
