Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
