how can u be prego again
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize